oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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