This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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