Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
