They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
