Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
