Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
