I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Oh god it's open bar.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
