More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
