Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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