I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
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Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
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masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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