Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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