i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
