Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
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