how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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