Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...