SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
