You're my little dorito
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
