I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
