I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
