a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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