who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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