i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
