u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
