I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
splinters make it hard to masturbate
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
