If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
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organizing the empties. That sober.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
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Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.