They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.