You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize