ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
COCAINE IS GR8
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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