Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
