Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
