Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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