I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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