Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
