And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic