I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
