someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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