i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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