Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
