If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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