I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize