...so i touched it.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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