he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
