I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
