i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
