it was like eating out sand paper
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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