Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
if only i could text you this smell
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
