Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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