I will die if light touches me.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
