I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Randomize
