using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
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You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
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There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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