Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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