alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
