he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
