They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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