The best revenge is premature balding
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
