i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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