I love black thongs
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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