I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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