Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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